Conversation starters for a first date can be a real challenge, but today, Pauline Plott has a few to share. Pauline is a London-based blogger on DatingSpot, and her bio is at the end of the article.
There you are, sitting down for dinner with a person you hardly know. You exchange pleasantries, talk about the pasta, and then it hits you…
SILENCE.
You’re thinking, “This is not good.”
Suddenly you’re so tongue-tied that you have nothing to do but look down at your food. “Make it end!” you beg internally.
We’ve all experienced it before, but part of being prepared for a date is coming up with a list of conversation ideas that ensures you’re never caught bereft of speech.
Let’s explore some of my favorite conversation ideas for a first date. They are guaranteed to inspire, compel, and even build rapport. But first, let’s go over some discussion basics…
Conversation Starters for a First Date | Listen More Than You Speak
The point of a first date is to get to know the person you’re with. It’s pretty hard to do that if you don’t allow them to do so. Listening more than speaking is a good rule to abide by, but it is essential on a first date.
You’ll enjoy a reasonably even exchange if you both follow this rule. A good indicator of a relationship “clicking” is the ability to volley a conversation back and forth like a ping pong match.
Be Genuinely Interested
No matter how your first date goes, it’s essential to give it your best effort. Part of this can be achieved by showing genuine interest. Even if your date is not the most exciting person in the world, you should still take advantage of this unique opportunity to learn about this person’s unique perspective.
You may find that your concerted effort to act interested makes you curious.
Avoid Taboo Subjects
There are specific topics you should always avoid on a first date. Many of these are apparent, but I have been on innumerable dates where these topics have come up. More often than not, when these issues come up, it is ‘one and done’ for me:
- Past relationships
- Money and how you spend it
- Intimate or sexual details
- Marriage plans
- Politics
First dates are meant to be lighthearted and fun. Mixing in this kind of discussion makes it neither of those. Of course, that leaves plenty of topics that you CAN broach.
Here are just a few…
Conversation Starters for a First Date
After reviewing the basics, how about some great conversation starters for a first date? Feel free to expand on these and even come up with some related to things you discussed during the online dating process. Of course, you should prepare your responses to these questions too. Inevitably, your date will say, “And what about you?”
1. Who has been the most significant influence on your life?
This question is pretty typical and seemingly innocuous, but it says a lot about who a person is and what they want to be. If your date talks about a family member, they probably come from a healthy and loving home. If they choose to talk about a famous figure, they have a passion for things outside their world.
2. Where is your favorite location on earth?
This is a good question for learning about where someone has been and can lead to a much deeper discussion about travel. You can also use this response for the planning of dates later on. For example, if your date says their favorite location is Niagara Falls, you can take them on a picnic to a local waterfall.
3. Conversation Starters for a First Date | What is your favorite movie ever?
As far as conversation starters for a first date go, asking about movies and pop culture is a great way to connect with someone. It’s so pervasive that everyone has something to say about movies, TV shows, and celebrities. Once again, the answer to this question can lead you down a conversational path that is rich, interesting, and capable of creating some friendly side discussions.
4. What is your biggest goal?
Similar to question one, the answer to this question can tell you a lot about a person. Goals are an indication of drive, and people who can immediately identify their most important goals are often those who don’t need to go on dates to begin considering the matter.
5. What do you hate most about dating?
Nothing brings people together better than a mutual dislike of something. Dating isn’t always fun, and everyone has something to say about the matter. Talking about your frustrations together is a surprisingly good icebreaker.
6. What should I know about you that I wouldn’t think of asking?
This final question is my favorite and is another of the best conversation starters for a first date! The things someone chooses to voluntarily reveal about themselves that may be quirky can say a lot about them. Like all of the other questions on this list, it can also lead to even more interesting and unexpected questions that result, ideally, in both you and your date having a fantastic night.
These Conversation Starters for a First Date Should Get the Ball Rolling
As you may have noticed, one commonality these all share is that they are not ‘yes or no’ questions and require a little thought. Each can tell you a lot about a person, their expectations, and their dreams.
You may find that you connect with many of the answers and perhaps do not.
I recommend a second date if you think it’s worth continuing to suss things out.
There are 100 more things to discuss with a potential new boyfriend HERE!
About the Author
Pauline Plott is a London-based blogger who became a dating guru after learning the psychology behind modern romance and signing up for every dating website in pursuit of relationship bliss. She shares her reviews and opinions on DatingSpot.
Communication is everything in all of your relationships, personal or professional. Learn the best communication skills right here – how to listen, how to talk to people with different communication styles, and most importantly, how to get what you want from a conversation while giving the other person what they want too. Get your copy today!
